Sharee’ Yveliz
I’ve sat here and looked at these questions, content that I’m asking them… questions no one really had a moment to answer … or the thought to even ask them.
I’ve gotten so happy at any response I’ve gotten, whether short or long, and each one blew me away in ways the others did not. And I don’t mean they were bad, I mean in the way that each one is so raw and so authentic, that they blew me away differently each time.
THENNN me toca a mi! (it’s my turn). All these great responses, how do I compare! But then I thought, that IS what makes me me. I didn’t want to take away not a moment of the other responses that follow this one, I wanted them to receive the glory and opportunity to share their story before I shared mine. that still doesn’t answer the question though…what makes me, me, is my ability to find myself in a world that opposed me. that wanted to change the inner makings of me. that still does. that will still continue to do so. But I believe in staying true to myself. I love myself in ways beyond most people’s comprehension. I had to fight to be the person I’ve always been. that’s magic. Soy divina.
Am I the black sheep? oh for sure! I’ve always been, there’s no denying any ounce of it. it’s had its days where it felt like the worst thing, being so different from everyone. I was always more EVERYTHING than anyone else. I for sure was malcriada if you want to call it that lol. I always stood up for myself even for my family. I was never okay with the adult being right JUST because they were the adult. sometimes they’re wrong! I highlighted what was wrong in this domestic lifestyle they were imposing on me. Shoot, even now I’m still am not the daughter I’m sure they imagined me to be. I break the mold, I dance alone, I break boundaries and generational curses. I’m shaking the ground. the weight of the world always felt heaviest on me as a daughter, I let it hold me down before but I didn’t make it this far to let it keep me down.
sometimes I feel like little miss sunshine that always has a quote for someone and now I draw a blank lol. what’s funnier honestly, is I could always just stop writing until it comes back to me… My newest affirmation that I adapted is from Steven Universe: “if every pork-chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs”. We might not always get the results we wanted, but we can make something of it. The real go-to and one I’m sure my friends have heard alll the time is one my grandmother has always said: “Mejor sola que mal acompanada”. It means, better to be alone than in bad company. it took a while for me to fully grasp this but as I grew as a whole and moved forward, I had to learn to let people go to preserve my peace and to clear out the blocked paths they were creating in my life. The Sun always comes out after the storm (that’s the third one!) and with all these reminders I take on each day.